i have a stomach ache

So its been about a week since my last post...and I believe that I left off saying that I had a presentation in my lab...

well... i origonally wrote an entire post recalling the events that transpired that night.. but i have decided that I will not post it. If you "just gotta know!!!1!1!!" all the details of that night, let me know and I'll email you a copy of it. But for all those content with just knowing the short version, I will not go into detail here...

My post doc told me I had a presentation. He told me short notice. I had a week to make a presentation. I did not know what exactly a "presentation" consisted of...at ALL. I asked him for help. Repeadily. He started avoiding me. In the end, I made a horrible excuse for a presentation. What else was I suposed to do? I presented. It was awful. I made a fool of my self infront of my lab group. The post doc got upset and started lecturing me in front of everyone about how bad my presentation was, and how I needed to study more on my topic and other things. I knew before hand that he would do this. I had suspected that he had just set me up for failure.

I told him off in front of the lab. And then I went to my professor's office explained the situation and quit. My professor understood completely and said that he had not realized the situation I had been in for the past few months (ie doing way too much work and having to stay in the lab 8+ hours a day...everyday)

He offered to put me in a new lab with better hours. I think I will do this...next quarter. I desperatly need a break, and a chance to focus on my actual classes (which I was close to failing at the time). I think I'll be ok in my japanese classes...probably not As though... its too late for getting As. I think I'm barely going to be able to bring them up to Bs...if that.. Like I said before...lab consumed almost every waking moment before.

The day after I quit I was really confused. Did I just destroy my only good reason for being in Japan? What should I be doing now? I felt SO idle...

but since then,　things have gotten alot better. I had time to...enjoy myself... I'm finding myself once again caring about learning Japanese and making friends... I'm finding that after only 7 hours of sleep I'm completly refreshed (before I could sleep 9 and still be tired). A side note.. but after being with the lab kids who never sleep, I feel stupid saying "ONLY 7 hours of sleep and I'm not tired!!!" in my lab this is twice the amount of their daily sleep

So in the past week I've been reading more... playing my guitar again... enjoying the sunshine outside.

I don't have internet in my room atm, so the only time I can check emails and such is at the International Student Center.

In other news... it snowed the other day! It was fun! I went outside and played ..a little.. there wasnt TOO much snow..and none of my friends were as amazed by the snow as I was and therefore wouldn't play with me :[

I don't have much else to say. I have a headache and stomach ache right now... I started feeling not so great around yesterday... hopefully I'm not getting sick...

I also just bought my plane ticket to come home for a few weeks in March. I know it seems dumb that I'm coming home AGAIN... BUT in my defense. I've travelled Japan..twice... I'm going to korea in a few weeks, and then I'm going up north for a field study class for about a week.

After that I had litterally a month off school. I don't have the money to travel in Japan. I can't even afford to go to Tokyo more than once a week (about 30 dollars worth of trains round trip plus how ever much money it takes to actually have FUN in tokyo..). Theres nothing to do in my college town. All my friends here at Tsukuba Univ are graduating at the end of Feb. And my fellow californian friends ...well, one will go spend the month with his family (has uncles and aunts and cousins in Japan) and the other will play video games all month. They too don't have money to travel and would rather sit inside than do anything...
And most importantly...my Mommy is paying for my ticket..so its free! :D

I'll be home from March 16th -April 9th. Last time I came home I was insanely busy...but... this time I just plan to relax. So if you want to do something, let me know. I'm not going to try to seek out everyone to plan haning out. If you wanna hang out, its up to you :p

Since I have to use the public comp, I have no way of putting up photos for the time being... but i will slove this problem soon!

Well I need to go to the store and buy food. And my head is killing me. AND I have nothing else to say.

thanks again for reading! Sorry if it was boring =/

Liza

Then is the new now

So this might be a short post. I don't have too much to say. Since Anthony left and I started school again not much has happened..

Mayumi ->

The week after Anthony left I went to a temple with my friend Mayumi to celebrate new years. It was fun...There were alot of people...and alot of foriengers..and everyone talked to me like I was a tourist...which is very condesending when I approach them in Japanese first.. Some guy was trying to get me to buy something, he was talking in english and saying things like "traditional japanese, very very cheap, all japanese people have this so you should buy it blah blah" (in broken english of course) After failing at tring to ignore him, I told him off in Japanese. He was very startled and left me alone. And by told him off, I told him it was WAY overpriced and that I didnt need it.

Here's a statue of buddah....

Here's a giant shoe...

Since then school has started....I'm taking 6 Japanese classes: Kanji, Reading, writting, speaking, listening, and grammer. I'm also taking ONE biology class... Its a very intense class..but only becuase I make it so.. It's taught out of a book thats been simplified from "The Cell" but instead of reading the simplified book (which is about 1/4 the size of the real book) I read The Cell. And I learn EVERYTHING in the book..or at least I try to. We really dont touch on alot of the content in the cell...deffinately none of the interesting stuff....but its the interesting stuff that keeps me going during my hours and hours and hours of reading (about 200 pages a week... in a text book thats insane)

Lab is worse than ever. For a couple weeks after the break, the post doc that I was working with decided he was too busy for me, and I just sat in the Lab all day. I was required to come, but had nothing to do... Everytime I tried to talk to him he was "be-ri busy" but finally i was able to talk to him and asked if I could still help him. So...I've started doing actual work again...but I kinda regret it.... I'm in the lab for 9-10 hours a day, and I have no time to study for my Japanese classes... I'm doing pretty awful in almost all of them, and I rarely know whats going on during class. At first it was embarassing, but now that everyone in my classes just assumes im a retard and dont ever expect me to get the right answer, its ok. I might be exaggerating things (about the being a retard thing that is...NOT exaggerating about lab..) I know whats going on in...most of my classes...but there are those days...where i litterally have no clue...

But back to lab...its awful. Still no one talks to me...but I've given up. I dont have time to eat or sleep really...its just...gah bad. My tutor (who also works in my lab) doesnt talk to me... infact she doesnt even look at me when i pass her in the hall....

I do have one friend in the lab though.... a girl from Tsunesia (sp?) whos about to start her PhD. Shes treated as bad as me, if not worse. (the post doc doesnt like her). She keeps me going through the rough lab days T_T.

Apparently I have 2 presentations that I'm supposed to give...one tomorrow in front of 10 people or so, and one of the 15th of Feb in front of the entire lab (around 50 ppl). I have no idea what this is supposed to be on....it was the post docs decision to make me do the presentation... I asked him what I was supposed to do it on,

he said "your results"

me:"what results?

"my results"

"im supposed to give a presentation on YOUR results?"

"yes"

it was left at that.

Im kinda dreading tomorrow...

I always thought that I was a hard working person... but it seems that here in Japan im one of the laziest.... The mere fact that i try to sleep at least 6 hours a night is proof.... Apparently here they only sleep 3-5 night. And becuase I only do 10 hour days (as opposed to 16 hours like everyone else) im seen as a slacker.

I love learning all the things that I have...and I'm so greatful for the opportunity that I have had here...it was more (much more..in many ways...) that I could have ever imagined...But I cant keep it up. Im not a PhD student...and I'm not a 4th Japanese university student workng on my graduation thesis...yet i am treated, and expected to function like one... I dont think that I can keep this up...And I've decided to quit starting next quarter. I hate that I've had to choose this...but life is really miserable... I cant do class and homework and have any sort of a life on TOP of a 10 hour work day... physically and mentally...i cant do it...

In other news...I'm planning on going to korea in feb! I'm SO excited! I'm only going for 4 days or so, but the plane ticket AND hotel together is only 250 dollars-ish. I'm going with my Japanese friend Sachiko, her bf, my two amerikan friends Patrick and Alex, and Sachiko's friend nakayamanakaguchidgglgsja;gd something or other.

It snowed the other day here... not too much....maybe only 2cm or so..but I was scared. I didnt get outside before it melted though.. too bad...

I've started cooking more... I make dinner for my two (only two..) friends, Alex and Patrick. And I'm also going to start making them lunch 3 times a week. Haha, I'm like a mom... the reason is, we're all poor and cant afford to eat out...and i thought it would be fun >.> :D

well, this update was alot longer than I thought it would be...but now im going to take a nap here on my lab bench...im...so...tired...

As always, thats for all your love and support. I would really love to hear back from you guys. I know I dont always answer your email replies, but I LOVE getting them. anything, even if its just "cool" =p

and just for fun...here's a myspace-esque picture of me :]